Adalina Cesarina Antoinetta Carabinieri

Texts | Voicemail | Arguments based on dialectic | Etc.

Owen Murphy. Front and centre!

I'm sorry that I've been neglecting this. Between the illness, and just relaxing and spending time with my boyfriend... I confess that I lost track of time. For any new people who don't know me, my name is Pico.

How is everyone's Halloween going?

I want to go trick or treating... I hate being too old!

[Private to Leo]

What do you think the chances are of a family dinner including both of my families (Luciano AND Murphy) at my home NOT ending in murder? I miss the Italian side of me and everyone says they do not judge me... besides, isn't it good for us to have allies?

I miss you cousin. I miss Angelo and your Mother. I miss Marco...

And my house is Switzerland...

But you're the Boss, so what do you think? If you approve I'll ask William what he thinks. It'd only be family, not employees. It's not that kind of dinner party.

I want to congratulate everyone who has gotten engaged, pregnant, etc. You are very lucky people. But for all the happiness, I sense tension and it unsettles me. I only hope my feelings are unfounded.

[Private]

I know it is wrong of me to feel this way, but all of this joy and happiness is depressing me. I am truly happy for everyone. But I have gone through so much in such a small time that I can't help but feel sad and bitter sometimes. I am grateful for my life, for the love I found in Owen, for the acceptance within those who truly are family, etc. God will forgive me, but I can't help it. I am so ashamed that I can't talk to anyone but my Priest. I don't want Owen to feel that I don't appreciate anything he's done for me, I don't want to cheapen or shame our love with my evil thoughts. Nor do I want to lessen William and Shannon's happiness...

But I will never get to have a baby of my own.

[/Private]

[Owen]

I love you so much. I made soup, tortelloni and breadsticks for dinner, you will love it! If you could bring home Gelato or some such desert I would appreciate it.

[/Owen]

It is two days until my surgery and I have never been so scared in all of my life. I feel sick, and I don't want to leave our bed. I wish I could ignore this and it would go away. In two days I will lose a part of me that was, to me, so very important. I am so young... I should not have to go through this, but God has put me through this trial and I will come through it, and I will survive. I am terrified, but I can do this. I have to do this.

But I thought it was over. I thought my family understood... but someone told my cousins in Chicago who told my Grandmother and I got a letter on Saturday that called me a Traitor, and a "Potato Sucking Whore." My father scratched my name out of the family bible at home. The rest disowned me and spit on the paper.

I am saying this NOW: If any of you, and I mean any of you of my blood, my Italian blood, have a problem with my choices... with my Irish fiance... YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELVES! I said that I would take no sides, but if this continues I will be forced to do so and you will not like my choice. I already played that game and I'm fucking tired of it. What do I get by being only Italian? I never belonged and I was always overlooked unless I was in trouble. I love the man I live with, and I will never give that up. I'm fucking ill. I have fucking cancer, there I said it. I'm about to get my fucking womb cut out of my body and I don't need ANYONE giving me this fucking Mafia BULLSHIT!

My surgery is Wednesday. I only want my FAMILY to be there. That means the Murphy's, Bene, Lulu, and anyone who can accept me for who I am and who I love.

If you can't? Then stay away from me, I don't need the stress.

[Private to Close Family: Owen, Bene, William Sr, Gabriella, Leo, Angelo, Marco, Seamus, Lulu and Pico's shrink]

I am scared about my surgery. It's next Wednesday and I'm terrified... I wish this didn't have to happen but the thought of chemo scares me more. I know that I am doing what I need to do, but I can't... Is it wrong that I am more devastated that I can't give Owen the children we want so badly? No one wants to hear the 'C' word and I don't know that I can bring myself to say it. But the Doctor is positive that removing my womb will remove it all... and I have faith that I will get through it. I don't know that I could if I didn't have Owen. He takes such good care of me, has such faith in me, loves me so much... that even with all of this... I can be happy because God brought us together and I found the other half of my heart, of my soul. I wish everyone could be so lucky... I do not like my family being unhappy in any way.

[Bene, Gabriella, and William Sr]
Owen and I are going to be adopting a baby as soon as we can get everything sorted. We can still be parents, we can still have children even if I can not bear them. Obviously we will wait until I heal, and also I think I have to make sure that my therapist thinks I can handle it... but it will be done eventually. He has been so good to me, doing most of the work himself so that I could worry about the surgery... although I suspect that he has also been worrying about that a great deal. I don't want everyone to know yet, because I am not sure how long it will take... but I wanted the three of you to know now.

[/Bene, Gabriella and Will Sr]

I have forgiven everyone who has asked it of me, and I am happier now. I'm enjoying my boyfriend and my kitten and am currently holed away with my own little family for a while... I needed to relax. Isn't my KITTEN beautiful!? His name is Finnigan "Potato" Murphy, but we're calling him Finn for short. And he's a loving, very active thing who doesn't like us to sleep past eight in the morning, cause then he starts jumping all over us.

I'm making sour and spicy thai soup today, and red chili pork stir-fry.

( Owen can read )

(Private to Pico's family, plus Owen/William Sr/William Jr/Seamus)
Yesterday was my birthday. Thank you to the few of you who remembered, all three of you. Though, my boyfriend is sort of the most awesome man in the world and I love him so much... and my brother isn't so bad either.

The rest of you... can go fuck yourselves, with all due respect. There will be no 'family' dinner on Sunday, because apparently I have no family... You all hurt my feelings and broke my heart. It is nice to know that I am so very easily forgotten even when I post a countdown on every form of social media I have, from aim to facebook to twitter so there is absolutely no excuse.

You know, I know all of your birthdays. After I came home after living with Eran O'Hara, I busted my ass to prove myself, to prove that I belonged in this family. I left a relationship that mostly made me happy, a man who was like a father to me, and struggled through recovering from addiction for all of you. I chose my family over others in a war that I am not a part of for you!

Family is not just blood, it is also the people who love you.

Grazie for proving to me that you don't care, you simply want to make certain that I am caged.

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 4 DAYS! No real plans, save for Sunday.

[Italians]
I know that Sunday I am doing a dinner for family. That's the one with the duck ravioli in pumpkin sauce! I'm excited for it... and everyone had better be there. Leo, Angelo, Marco, Catarina etc... Don't let me down please. Gabriella, Lulu? I may need your help with the last minute things.
[/Italians]

[Will Sr]
Would it be possible to combine my 'being clean' reward with my birthday somehow? It's all on you and Owen though. Surprise me.
[/Will Sr]

[Owen]

I went shopping this morning, but I was thinking about you the entire time, and I think my purchases reflected that. The pictures aren't work or brother safe, darling.

I bought:

THIS, THIS, THIS, THIS, THIS, THIS, THIS, THIS, THIS, THIS, THIS, THIS, and THIS.

What do you think?

[/Owen]

( Delivered to Owen Murphy at his house )

Può qualcuno spiegare prego a me lo stereotipo pregiudicato circa l'Irlandese e le patate?

I heard something about it on the street today and was curious.


( translation )

[Italians]
My birthday is fast approaching. I am working on making invitations to the dinner party I'm having for it (because it is my birthday, so I will be indulged) and working on the things that go with it. I am thinking... pumpkin and duck ravioli in sage and butter sauce to begin with. In other news: My piano lessons are going well, though they would be better if I had a piano at home to practice on. Music is an amazing thing, almost like having a friend when you're lonely. Though I think that a Singapora Kitten would also keep me excellent company when I am lonely. Bene you had better notice what I am doing here I hope everyone can attend... May 15th only comes once a year and I am tired of the fighting I don't like it when we fight I hate being left out I plan on spoiling you all.
[/Italians]

Socratic Quote of the Day

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."


This amuses me greatly. I was speaking to one of my friends in Italy today online and we got into an argument about Socrates and how some think he was merely Plato's character... he was not happy. I do, however, see a point in it. I mean... Socratic works are known through the words of Plato and there is very little evidence that Socrates existed.

( we could write a bad romance )